Daily misery

1. When I was 10 or 11, I participated in this district level Taekwondo competition. I was a black belt, advanced from the 1st round unscathed and my 2nd round opponent was a yellow belt noob. 10 seconds into the match, in what I remember was his first attack, he launched a harmless looking right sidekick that hit my face square and fair. I cupped my face, looked down, idling for a bit, tears accumulating around my pupils, before turning around and ran away from the center court in the middle of the fight, crying out loud. My coach threw in the white towel. I think my parents were watching from the stand. Proudest moment of their life.
2. Back in my high school, we had to take turns to clean the restroom. There was this one time when the headmaster ordered me to stick my hand into the toilet bowl to extract whatever that was clogging it. I remember it felt squishy but didn’t dare to look. It was kinda funny.
3. Primary 6 (equivalent to K-12 for US readers), my friend and I were playing Abu Ghraib-style torturing game in our classroom. I was what you would call the classroom perfect. One day, I had this crazy idea of tying my classmates up with ropes and laughed at them if they didn’t abide by my rules (which was pretty much ’shut up’ and ‘don’t bother me’ ). My friend just did what I asked him to do because well, we were friends. Suddenly the teacher showed up and man he was furious (one of my classmate was literally still being tied up on a chair, crying and terribly horrified). He wanted to know whose idea was this. Without even thinking I pointed my puny index finger towards my friend. The teacher whipped and shouted at him in front of everyone. I was the perfect and my friend was more the delinquent type. I was more believable. My friend cried for his innocence. Literally, he was kneeling and begging the teacher to stop hitting him, but never once did he say it was me who did it. I just stood there and watched. I still have nightmares about it.
4. I once stole 5 bucks from my friend’s (different one) mother’s purse so we can go play videogame. I told him it was my money.
5. When I was either 9 or 13 (I try not to remember), I had this big fight with my eldest younger sister over some stupid arguments. I pulled her hair and I think I slapped her. She didn’t cry violently but I could see from her teary eyes that she hated me down to the spine. Even now, I can still recall vividly her fury facial expression at that time. I felt so disgusted with myself afterwards but made no attempt to apologize. My dad would have been very disappointed with me had he found out about this because he once told me that I should treat every girl like a princess. It was probably a good thing because I never touch a girl like that ever since. My sister and I have a much better relationship now ^_^. She’s like my best friend and I think I owe her an apology. I’m so sorry, Karen.

How I can grow up and become a normal person, I will never know. I never did drug, crack, joint or ecstasy. Hell I never even put a cigarrette on my lips before. But many times I wish I can replace the last 3 things with stories where I had hurt myself badly, repeatedly.