Lost puppy
I started my early day by turning on my coffee maker without putting in the coffee pot. Hot and fresh coffee spilled all over my kitchen table by the time I got out of the bathroom. About a week ago I sent a mail with my own address as both the sender’s and return address. In many ways I’m a lost puppy.
Or blurry as some of my friends prefer to put it. I am lost when it comes to filling forms, making changes, coding, cooking (always never seem to remember what I put in my dishes) and doing laundry. If you are to dine with me, you might constantly find me staring at a blank spot for so long and totally block out any ongoing conversation that is on the table. Most recently, I found myself looking high and low through my wardrobe for t shirts that I already threw away months ago. And just yesterday, I found myself totally lost in relationship. Jol and I went separate ways. We lasted for about a month.
According to Soo Li who also happens to be a part time fortune teller, this girl is supposed to be THE one that I’m going to marry and spend the rest of my exciting life with. It goes without saying that I’m going to die a lonely man - old, fat and ugly with a giant Rottweiler accompanying me till my dying day, baby.
So yes, this year has been eventful. In a metaphorical way, it’s like tasting different kind of cheesecakes since you know you like cheesecake a lot but there’s this one particular kind of cheesecake that just melts your mouth but somehow it is not available or they just stop making them so you settle for the other kind of cheesecakes thinking they’re all the same but it turns out that the only cheesecake you’re so deeply in love with is the one you can’t ever have. Ever. To put things in perspective, I shall go for chocolate cake next time.
They say you need therapist for this kind of thing. This so called healing process. The only thing I know I am going to need is a manual book on how to stop this vicious cycle of hurt I started while I’m in the ‘healing process’. At this rate, I might find myself in a state where suddenly the ideas of being alone forever or turn gay seem rather attractive before we see 2006. Everytime I set up to do something right, it bounces back right to my face with one million broken pieces of everything. Poetically pathetic, isnt it?
So I wiped off the coffee spills from the kitchen table, cleaned the coffee maker and put my mug back into the dishwasher. Then I picked up my phone and did my routine ‘give-her-a-morning-call’ thing. Halfway through the dial, I realized we’re no longer together anymore.
Application for the girlfriend position is currently closed for the year.
