Element of tears
There was a time in DM when all I ever wrote was about her. Even my colophon and contact page were filled with depressive words motivated by selfless, emotional conscience. Dark age was looming and it was as bitter as it could have possibly get.
More and more things fell apart as we got closer to each other. In the very end, both of us had lost some parts, some very important parts of our lives. Everything that could’ve possibly go wrong, went wrong. I personally have never seen a girl cried in such constancy over such a short period of time. You start to wonder whether its physiologically possible for a human being to pour out such an consistent amount of liquid over the days.
I remembered vividly one particular night when she was badly shaken from over-crying, if that’s even a word to begin with. Its like grabbing a flesh beating heart that was taken out from a living human being and put it on an old rail track before a locomotive dashes pass in full speed, ripping the heart into pieces of trembling flesh over a split second. It felt numb.
I should’ve written a recursive program that runs an infinite loop of functions that will display the words ‘its time to let go’ everytime I start my PC. And I did eventually (let go of course, not writing the program).
Funny thing is, if I ever get the chance to go back and redo the whole thing, I will probably take the same route, swim through the same pond of tears and ride the same black stallion. This time I will probably bring along more napkins.
All pleasures come with an element of sadness. In my case, it’s all there ever is.
