Daily misery

Life’s been overspeeding lately. All the sudden I was like ‘wow, I’ve got to slow down’. Seems like only three days ago I was preparing for my finals in UNL. The day before yesterday I’d graduated. Yesterday I started working. Then today - BAM! I couldnt even figure out where I’ve misplaced my graduation diploma.

Before you know it, I will probably end up marrying an old rich woman who happens to have three kids from her prior marriages and turns out to be an alcoholic two years into our lifelong companionship and not long after that she would jump off the window killing herself when she found out I was having an affair with her best friend’s sister.

Or I might die a lonely man.

*Whooooosssssssaaaa……*

The suckest part is I havent even have time to take pictures of my new car and show them to my parent. Oh well, maybe I should count my blessing they couldnt start the engine in the first place.

Whooooosssssssaaaa……*

Haha, out of boredom.

This is for Joyce and Huinee.

After going through some photo galleries that are available in the websphere, I finally opt to set up my mobile camera’s gallery using flickr simply because I am…lazy. I had gone through gallery, coppermine and folderblog and all of them are great web applications, no doubt. I even created a template for folderblog and got the whole thing set up but I think for the long run, flickr seems like a more feasible choice.

Oh well, you can either access it by going to the drop down menu or visit here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/alvinwoon/

Of course, more photos will be added soon :).

Trailer: http://www.apple.com/jp/quicktime/trailers/casshern_large.html

I went a long way to get my hand on this movie. A japanese scifi-drama-thriller that was released back in 2004. Blockbuster doesnt even have it in their stock and I had to go through ’special channel’ to get it, if you know what I mean. Sure you do ^_^.

K, here’s my short review. It sure is action-packed but Casshern’s storyline is patchy at best. If more time is put into the script and dialog, this movie would be near-perfect. The soundtracks and GC can only be described as breathtaking. Some of the setting of the scenes in this movie are even more eye-pleasing than those that can be found in LOTR. Nippon dudes certainly have tonnes of GC talents under their belts. The underlying message of the movie (or story or however you choose to put it) is beautiful but sometimes it feels like the transitioning of the movie is being rushed through and leaves more to be desired. But dont take my words for it, its definitely worth checking out the trailer. To be fair, it was probably the subtitles that screwed up. I should learn japanese.

Definitely had turned many heads and attentions back towards the Japanese movie industry. If you combine Final Fantasy with any of the many japanese dramas out there, you’ll get Casshern.

We hurt others by our very existence,
That’s just the way we live,
we need to learn to forgive
need to realize that existence is to be shared,
we’re not just here to exist,
but to find the strength to co-exist,
it may start from something small,
it may even seem impossible,
but we must start from somewhere,
Hope…our legacy.

~Casshern.

As you can see, the message is purely sensational but the wording is cheesy. Maybe it actually sounds pretty cool in japanese.

It was colorful and spectacular. A very beautiful night ^_^.

Then there were the bugs attack, getting lost while on our way back, Huinee slipped over a small hole and Alvin not wearing any underwear under his jean incidents.

Also I need to polished my skill in taking night scene photos.

So I walked around the university after depositing my checks in the bank around noon today. I went to student union and there were quite a few people there studying or reading or typing with their laptop. It was a nice feeling, and I miss that feeling a lot.

It’s true that we never really appreciate our time in school, much less when the final comes around. We (I) bitch about homeworks, assignments and lecturers. We should, because sometimes there’re just too many of them.

Yet as I walked out of the union, I was pretty darn sure about one thing - I belong to the academia.

I miss bitching and cursing at the workloads. I miss locking lips with the lecturer just to get that one extra point which I so justifiably deserved. I miss research conferences and my professor’s bad breath. I miss having lunch with my friends at restaurants nearby the university. I miss math.

I miss school. And I want to go back for my Master, hopefully soon.

I guess this is what my ex-gf was trying to tell me for the past couple of years when we were together. It felt not so good at all getting hit back like that, but this XX species got a point here. Its quite a laugh too.

By Greenietea

.: torment of a relationship :.

i wonder what it’s like to be a lesbian.

it must be nice to ask for hair advice without getting a you look good no matter what now please get off my back comment. it must be nice to be told to buy more clothes and shoes because i really don’t have enough. it must be nice to have no football or basketball games that we, beyond my comprehension, have to HAVE to watch…

it must be really nice to be a lesbian.

all those endless basketball and footballs that i dread to watch. oh god. a bunch of sweaty men trying to get a tiny little ball into the net just ain’t my thing. why are they so damn serious about it? i mean i’m pretty serious about getting my hair done but look at their faces! they’re almost as excited about it as though they were getting their hands on some booty. what the hell is up with men and silly round balls anyways? worst of all, i have to pretend like i’m enjoying myself because… well… i read somewhere that guys dig chicks who watch sports… and i am just a loser… let me tell y’all something… your girlfriend is pretending to like your sport games. and all your sport games can suck my ovaries in hell… really.

but it’s inevitable. i will have to watch sports games for the rest of my life even when nobody forced me to, most of the time i just offer to join. why? why do women torture themselves in relationships? why do women do such crazy things like supporting a sport team and screaming along side their men when they really don’t even know which team has control of the ball?

i would just like to say, women, only watch sports games with a man who is happy about shopping with you and carrying your things for you. only watch sports games with a man who actually notices the little things you do to your hair. only watch sports games if your man is really worth that two-hour of boredom.

sigh. and fyi, brazil vs. germany, 3 to 2. fuck me. i’m a disgrace. lol.

There was a time in DM when all I ever wrote was about her. Even my colophon and contact page were filled with depressive words motivated by selfless, emotional conscience. Dark age was looming and it was as bitter as it could have possibly get.

More and more things fell apart as we got closer to each other. In the very end, both of us had lost some parts, some very important parts of our lives. Everything that could’ve possibly go wrong, went wrong. I personally have never seen a girl cried in such constancy over such a short period of time. You start to wonder whether its physiologically possible for a human being to pour out such an consistent amount of liquid over the days.

I remembered vividly one particular night when she was badly shaken from over-crying, if that’s even a word to begin with. Its like grabbing a flesh beating heart that was taken out from a living human being and put it on an old rail track before a locomotive dashes pass in full speed, ripping the heart into pieces of trembling flesh over a split second. It felt numb.

I should’ve written a recursive program that runs an infinite loop of functions that will display the words ‘its time to let go’ everytime I start my PC. And I did eventually (let go of course, not writing the program).

Funny thing is, if I ever get the chance to go back and redo the whole thing, I will probably take the same route, swim through the same pond of tears and ride the same black stallion. This time I will probably bring along more napkins.

All pleasures come with an element of sadness. In my case, it’s all there ever is.

Well, I had to shell out 450 dollars to get my car fixed. That’s 113 raspberry cheesecake in equivalence ($3.50 each). My sorrow is way beyond any imaginable sadness ever documented in the history of human literature. That’s like my entire 2006’s happy portion right there. Like Su Ann would say - I dont know why people take drugs and stuff when there are cheesecakes so readily available. cheap, too. And I seriously dont understand why anyone would try to steal a car when there’re so many bakery shops available in town. Just imagine all the cheesecakes one can consume after breaking into the shop. Euphoric, orgasmic, terrific - oh man even I ran out of words to describe that pure momentarily sense of happiness. Apparently not everyone shares the same passion with me.

So may all of those who molested my car membakar di neraka tangga lapan belas! (burn in hell level 18th). Poor baby, I took her for a shower after picking her up from the hospital and I think she’s still mad at me for all the things that had happened. She tried to ran Huinee over the sidewalk while I was picking her up at Wellsfargo bank just now. Poor soul.

Kiki Lala is dying. First the flower died. Now her leaves turned yellow. Iris, one of my colleague asked me to put her under the fluorescent light on my desk weeks ago but due to my own incompetence, I keep forgetting to switch the light on whenever I arrive every morning. Kiki Lala is a very important piece in my desk. She is the only non-work related thing there and so beautifully she stands out. Poor soul.

Later that evening, Huinee and I crashed into a local bar cum restaurant somewhere in Haymarket for dinner. We sat at the bar and I was suprised when she told me this was her first time sitting at the bar. I however am a frequent bar sitter, you know, being a semi-alcoholic and depressive loner myself. I ordered a Samuel Adams and when the hunky, fierce looking bartender asked whether she wanted the same drink too, she stared at him for like 3 seconds, smiled and politely declined. I had to order a glass of water for her since she pretty much shaked her head all the way round. She’s such a charmer. Definitely not a bar sitter ^_^.

That concludes my somewhat unfortunate week. Both my baby car and baby flower and many many other babies still seem to be pretty mad at me.

Peace, very much loves and do stare at the sky once in a while.
A.Woon

I know I have some overdue emails, friendster messages, missed IM’s and phonecalls to reply to. My sincere apology for the delay. Since I am pretty sure most of these people stop by Daily Misery once in a while, I will just catch up with things here ^_^.

Dad - I didnt drink as much as you would have thought. Besides, I always went with friends that wouldnt even allow me to play the slightest idea of doing something that might have done harm to myself. Your son is in good hands and I love you :).

Mom - I already start saving, mom. But sometimes its a bit frustrating when little things like these keep chipping away some portions of it. Having said so, I think I am in pretty good shape now, both physically and financially. If I am ever fallen into desperate situation, first I can start re-accepting freelancing jobs, second I’d tap into saving, third I’d fall back to my family - yeah you and dad that is. If none of those things work out I’m messing things up so badly that asking other people for money wouldn’t help anything. I hope to see you and the other Woons during next year’s CNY. Love you lots. Oh one last thing, your motto - money is everything, you need to change that. Its getting old.

Nicoly Woon - Yes, you have such a cute and ‘mis-aligned’ palms. ^__^

Annie Woon - Sorry I missed your IM just now. How’s school been treating you?

Karen Woon - Still waiting for my ’safety seal’ through email.

Sharon Woon - Did you eat more? You need to. :0)

Ah How - Liverpool might have kept Gerrard for a couple years to come, but they are definitely going down this year! Last year was all about luck. Luck dude, luck.

Leh Tieng - How’s life? It has been such a long time since we last caught up. Might give you a call later tonight.

Huinee - Blockbuster free coupons just arrived!

Kenson - Hope you’re fine dude. That’s a worrying phone call from Mr. Omar. Come back and everything can start fresh.

Bump - Aijalons’s new gravel CMS is slick! I like the orange feel very much.

Su Ann - I miss tanah tumpah darahku too but…. Life down here might be a little bit harsh right now but it’s not the time yet. I will keep hold of your Godiva chocos for the time being. Do wish you have a fun trip in Corea! And I’ll be fine. ^_^

Yt a.k.a koDoMo - Changing name are for fugitives and Hollywood’s porn stars and you are much better than that. I am moving on and I think you should too. I never really worry about your well-being since with him around, I’ve little doubt that you’re well taken care of. You shouldnt worry much about me too since I am holding up pretty well here. Even if I am not, I will only end up making a bunch of lies to let you know I’m. Lets not make things more complicated than it already is. I guess I was a little upset just now since I’ve made myself to believe that for once, you’ll actually keep your promise. But come to think of it, it shouldnt even matter in the first place. I miss those normal days and I believe both of us want a more peaceful life than what we are having right now. Even if I wont take the same path should I be given the chance again, that doesnt mean you should forget my jerky meat though!

Warning - The Geek-ometer reading for this entry can be very high for some.

I was doing my annual desktop folders clean up when I stumbled across tonnes of snippets of codes scattered within my 5 level deep ‘codes’ subfolders. Some of them are RC version working programs, some are uncompiled, some are classes of methods and some are, well, full of bugs. Its funny when you look back at your codes and you cant help but keep asking yourself the same question - why the hell would I do this or that. Some of the programs can be best described as bloated and full of redundant functions with no exception handling whatsoever. So much for ‘code is poetry’. >_<

So I guess I will resume some of the geeky postings like I used to do before, taking the opportunity to release these ancient codes to the community hoping it can be of better use to someone else rather than sitting idle in my PC consuming hard drives. Besides, Daily Misery has been my ranting sphere for the best part of 2005. You guys must be getting tired of hearing my constant rants about my imaginary teddy bear, delusional dreams and dysfunctional love relationship. No?

Phpfolder is a small php script. When dropped into a particular folder, it will detects all the files and subfolders in there and outputs the list in html codes. You just need to set the root folder and add the script to any other subsequent subfolders you want.

This script can be very useful because one can basically drag and drop anything to their web space, even create new folders and subfolders - all through ftp or web file manager and the php script will detect those files and output it in a normal html file so that the rest of the world can view the files in that particular folder through a browser window. It can detect various file extensions and output it with matching image icons to better differentiate the file types. I didnt check whether the html outputs is valid w3c, but those valid freaks out in the websphere can do that on their own. It shouldnt be too far off though.

Here's the code:
[code lang="php"] //@Alvin Woon
//Creative Common
/**************************/
/** Editable variable ***/
/**************************/
//This is the root folder where you want this script to start detecing files and folders
//Replace boo with your root folder
//Example: /home/johndoe/public_html/testing/
$folder_root = "boo";

//Icon images folder
//Example: /home/johndoe/public_html/testing/images/

//If you prefer to put images into image folder other than the root, then delete the code line
//below and do smth like this:
//$images = "boo";
//replace boo with whatever folder you choose to.
$images = str_replace($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'], '', $folder_root)."images";

/******************************************/
/** DO NOT EDIT ANYTHING HERE ***/
/******************************************/
$live_url = str_replace($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'], '', $folder_root);
$base_url = str_replace($folder_root, "", dirname($PHP_SELF));
$filesFolder = $_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'].$base_url;

if ($handle = opendir($filesFolder)) {
if ($filesFolder."/" !== $folder_root){
echo "
Back to main folder
“;
echo “
Back to previous folder

“;
echo “

”
.$base_url.”
“;
}else
{
echo “
Main Folder
“;
}
while (false !== ($file = readdir($handle)))
{
if ($file != “.” && $file != “..” && $file != “index.php” && $file != “.htaccess”)
{

//Folder detection and MIME types, you can replace the icon for each file extension
if (is_dir($filesFolder .”/” .$file))
{
echo “ “.$file.”
“;
}

else if
(substr($file,strlen($file)-4) == “.pdf”)

{

echo “

• $file

“;
}
else if
(substr($file,strlen($file)-4) == “.jpg”)
{

echo “

• $file

“;
}
else if
(substr($file,strlen($file)-4) == “.php”)
{

echo “

• $file

“;
}
else if
(substr($file,strlen($file)-4) == “.gif”)
{

echo “

• $file

“;
}
else
{
echo “

• $file

“;
}

}

}
echo “

“;

closedir($handle);
}

?> [/code]

You will probably want to apply this css codes to the script:
[code lang="css"]
li{
list-style: none;
}
[/code]
I did my best in documenting the codes but here’s the screenshot of the working version:



If you’re interested, here’s the working version’s url.

Credits:
Charles Bump - for cleaning up the codes.
Lim Yuan Qing - for the awesome pixel icons.

If there’s one thing that I am not, its being a materialistic freak. I dont have a thing for poshy sport car, big ass TV, Nike sneaker, branded attire or a spa in my bathroom. This nonchalant attitude of mine had both troubled and delighted all my ex-girlfriends to some extent. But I’ve also been a consumer long enough to know that fine things come with a price. Sometimes you try to go for a cheaper option, only to end up spending lots of your time and money for those after-sale’s maintenances. Having said that, spending 5000 bucks on a puppy or 2500 bucks on a stereo system is a little bit over.

Did I just mention I’m not a materialistic guy? K, but I do have:

a decent car

Click here for more pictures of the car.

a decent cellphone

a decent shade

and of course, some pretty decent boxers.

I always know that someday I’m going to write an entry about her. Turns out that day arrives earlier than I would expect.

3 years, 4 months and 6 days. That’s how long we’ll be together during this time of writing, if we didnt break up back then. We managed 3 years 1 month and 2 days. We spent almost 3 quarter of that time being apart from each other. It wasnt a healthy relationship, but it was something worth keeping hold onto, at least for me.

Before we started dating back in the 60’s, we had both developed a unique sense of liking towards each other for very odd reasons. For me, I love having meals with her. No sneaky motives, no love feeling (yet), no nothing - just for the love of eating. Boy she can eat! I mean this girl would literally run all over the city on a sacred mission to try as much variety of foods as possible in a single day and I would gladly run behind her. Night market’s junk food, Jln Padungan pau and jerky meat, high class Japanese buffet, westerns, easterns, homecooking… you name it, we ate it. We had so much fun stuffing those foods into our big-ass mouth but you know what the best part was? - we never got fat. Ha! Alvin just loves to rub it in. ^_^

Those moments I shared with her had somewhat developed into a feeling I very much look forward to every single day.

For her, I think she got her ultimate satisfaction from constantly pinching and punching my arms until their senses went absolutely numb and skins went as red as those volcanic lavas can be, for totally no reasons at all. (Here’s the hint guys, the harder girl punches, the more likely she’ll likes you)

We basically ended up being a couple. Life couldnt have been better. The laughters were definitely there, along with the tears, fights and all the other must-have ingredients one can find in the love book.

Then I had to leave for US to finish my degree.

Months went by and we pretty much did everything two persons can possibly do through this little wonderful thing called - the telephone. I went back for summer holiday after almost two years in the states. She looked a lot more like a woman than a girl and I had pimples. That was the only thing that changed. Then we went to eat like how we used to eat, went to beach, fights, shopping, theme parks and more fights. She documented everything we did in that two weeks little time space of ours here.

I went back to States. Another one year went by. I missed her a lot.

Then we decided, or rather I decided, to let go. Reason? To be honest I’m not even sure what that is right now.

This is not an entry about regrets or what-ifs because I believe we’d long passed that point of uncertainty. This is an entry about a girl and a boy, with their fairy-tale like sequence of story events, minus the happy ending.

Daily Misery so far supports the following browsers and OS.

Windozzz:
Firefox 1.0+
Internet Explorer 6.0
Netscape 8.0 (this browser suprises me in so many ways, despite what some people in the OS community had said)

Mac:
Firefox 1.0+

Linux:
Firefox 1.0+

I have also discontinued support for the following ‘legacy’ browsers:
- Mac’s IE (all versions), Windozz’s IE (5.0 or any other prior versions).

Resolution supported are 800×600, 1024×768 and 1152×864 and 1280×768.

I am currently working on the support for Mac’s safari browser and Linux’s konqueror and fixing some glitches in Linux’s Mozilla. In the future, I am hoping to add Opera to the list, along with defensive design for javascript/flash disabled users. That wont be a far future, you have my words.

Drop me a message should you find any bugs in DM. I would really appreciate that.

Why do I think its necessary to put forth such info? I see it as my vote for a platform independent, non-browser specific World Wide Web. I’ve always wanted to make the web a better place, not just for web designers, geeks, bloggers or e-shoppers, but also for common folks like my mom and someone else’s grand-dad. Anyone who slaps a ‘this page is best viewed with Browser X’ label on a Web page is like flashing a ‘talk to my hand’ sign to my mom. I can get extremely angry when people do that to my mom.

I am very unhappy with the current trend towards web sites designing only for specific browsers and ignoring others. It’s extremely annoying to me to visit a web site and to find that I’ve been rejected until I come back with Netscape or Internet Explorer. It’s also annoying to visit web sites that allow you in with any browser, but rely heavily on tags only supported in a few popular browsers, or leave out support for text browsers.

List of thing I need to get done by tommorow:
1.) Go to Walmart to buy a paper shredder. Too many confidential letters from bank and co. that need to be rid of.
2.) Clean the interior of my car. And also restroom.
3.) Malaysia’s password passport renewal.
4.) Watch movie with friends.
5.) Grocery.

It would be nice if someone can give me a morning call tommorow.

Oh, I also just found out the new version of Microsoft Windows is going to be called - get this - Vista. Longhorn sounds too girly I suppose. This new name just doesnt sound right no matter how many times you try to say it.

It’s pretty warm outside tonight. Have a great one everyone. Astala-vista.

Everyone deserves a second chance. In many ways I think that sounds a lot easier to say when you’re not the one that have to look people in the eyes everyday and wonder whether they know what you’ve done in the past. What’s the worst thing one could have done to be put into that shoes?

In Walter’s case, he molested a little girl once. Played by Kevin Bacon, he returns to his hometown after 12 years in prison and attempts to start a new life. This movie is on my A lists because of two very powerful scenes and an overall magnificent acting performance by Mr. Bacon.

The first scene is when Walter met this pretty little girl named Robin(played by Hannah Pilkes) in the park and they sat down on a bench watching birds and started talking. It was a normal conversation until Walter asked her whether she wanted to sit on his lap. This scene is so unsettlling and strong I can literally write down the dialog here off hand.

Walter: Robin…
Robin: Yes?
Walter: Would you like to sit on my lap?
Robin: *Weird look at Walter*
Robin: What?
Walter: Would you like to sit on my lap?
Robin: No thank you. (answers in an instant)
Walter: Ok, doesnt matter.

*awkward silence*

Robin: Do you want me to sit on your lap?
Walter: Yes, i would enjoy that.
Robin: *confused, undecided*
Walter: I know this place thats really quiet, except for the sound of these tiny little birds.
Robin: They sound like finches.
Walter: Do you want to see?
Robin: ……..
Robin: My daddy lets me sit on his lap.
Walter: Does he?
Robin: Yes.
Walter: Do you like it when he asked that from you?
Robin: No.

Walter: *puzzled look, weird stare* Why not?
Robin: ………..
Walter: Are you two alone when he asked you?
Robin: ………..
Walter: Does he say strange things?
Robin: *Look at the binocular as if she didnt hear the questions. Try holding back tears*
Walter: Does he move his legs in funny ways?
Robin: *Tears flow down, try to take a deep breath*
Walter: *Dont know what to do, totally numb*

Robin: Walter…do you still want me to sit on your lap?….I will…..I dont mind.
Robin: No. *shaking his head* Go home Robin.
Robin: *takes her stuff and give Walter a hug before making her way out of the park, in tears*.

And I really dont want to spoil the whole movie by giving away the second scene.

Disturbing and controversial, this is not an easy film to watch. But its easily one of the most memorable performance by all the casts in a movie for many years to come.

It was pouring today. I almost forget how much I miss the rain. Driving to work during days like this makes up for all the problematic troubles off and on road.

[sarcasm]Of course, since I’d just washed my car over the weekend, it could not have come at a more perfect time.[/sarcasm]

When I first decided to name this blog ‘Daily Misery’, I wasnt really expecting it to be like a daily journal to put all my misery life’s experiences into perspectives, much less for public viewing. Nor it supposes to depict what my real life is really about. It was just a name that I felt deeply attached to back then.

Turns out not everyone thinks so.

People that has known me in real life prior to knowing the existence of DM seems to have the tendency to develop ‘deep concern’ for my well being after reading it. The sentences can range from ‘you look a lot happier in daily life’ to ‘I didnt know life was that hard for you there’. As much as I was deeply touched by the gesture, it saddened me to know that this is what they saw from reading my entries.

I would have liked to believe that there’re much more than that within those words, either directly or in a more subtle way. Because I am blessed with such a life, believe it or not. You do have to know that not everyday I drink myself to the absolute horizon of self-lessness, or lost my gf to another guy, or bleed myself so that I can watch my blood drips and laugh hysterically about it.

But then I might be wrong. Maybe this is my life, although I seriously doubt it. And that would be a very sad truth and harsh way to find out about it. What you think?

I found this pretty cool Ajax stuff written by Garrison Locke in the websphere last night. So i installed it and now everyone can play it in alvinwoon.com ^_^.

This is just like the magnetic poetry kits you’ve seen before except this is on the internet! It saves state when you release a piece. It updates itself every 4 seconds, so if you’re on it at the same time as someone else is and they move something, you’ll see that piece move too. And it’s persistent, so what you write will be there next time you come back unless someone else moves it somewhere.

So guys, try not to mess up words that had been arranged by other people. Try to creative with your wording and you wont run out of words to use.

Go here and start leaving me messages. My first sentence is ‘blonde love abnormal animal’. As in animal like Chiwahwah.

I participated in a volleyball tournament on Saturday. It was jointly organized by CSSA (chinese something something), LFFS (Lincoln Friends something something) and NUMSA (Nebraska University Malaysia something something), Fun, sweaty and a good little get together among all the members of the organizations. Got to know a couple new friends, managed to add a few bruises here and there and oh, a dozen of hangers (consolation prize).

Here’s the photos. Photos courtesy of Mr. Ryan Lim. I didnt get to take many pictures that day cuz I was too busy throwing myself to the sand. Oh there’re some boxer shots again this time, but no stomach hair I promise!