Daily misery

Its a beautiful dream, when you dont think about the consequences. It’s so wonderful you wish that’s all you have to think about for the rest of your life.

Yet it aint that simple. It’s not.

How’s everyone doing? It’s been a long hiatus, at least in my own timespace. A lot had happened. It’s been an overwhelming month and I am trying to write again, hopefully documenting my life wouldnt be such a painful process this time around. Some snippets would be nice, dont ya all think?

» I graduated! Will post some pictures soon. My dad was here to attend my graduation. I felt bad because he came right in the middle while I was having my finals and the schedule pretty much jammed up. We missed out on a couple of places but overall I think everything went pretty great. I love my dad.

» I broke up with Karen. It was one of those thing where nothing goes wrong but yet everything seems to be misplaced terribly. We didnt fight, we didnt shout at each other. One thing that I regretted much was that I never really put much attention on her whenever we get the chance to meet during one of those rare summer holidays. She is supposed to be THE one for me, and I really believed that when we were together. I love you.

» I got hired as a web developer for a company called Knowledge Marketing. Started working on the last wednesday and everything went pretty well I must say. The office is like 31 miles off Lincoln though, so I am looking for a car to save myself from having to wake up so early just to catch the damn bus.

» Then there’s this girl. Hey you, just got off the phone with you and you must be sleeping your afternoon away like a fat pig right now. I think I owe you an honest, bottom-of-my-heart apology. After got off the phone just now, I really thought I blew it this time for good. At one point I can still recall you said we were equal and that you were having hard time making a choice between me and him. But after my dramatic, disgusting and childish gestures during the course of the last few days, you said its best for us to start all over again, just to get to know each other better. I regretted very much so. Maybe its for the best. It just amazes me how wrong thing can go sometimes when you’re not in the right state of mind.

I’ve gone 48 hours with only 6 hours of sleep. Everyone tells me I’m living a great life with the new job and all. I certainly believe that I do. Except that I dont. Not because I broke up with my gf, not because I dont like my job and certainly not because of how thing goes with that girl. I am just frustrated that I kept messing things up and for the worst part it hurt people around me and in some cases made them felt like they didnt even know me anymore.

Like I am so fcuking special or anything. Turns out I’m just a creep.

I am sorry that I have to take down the entry that includes the transcript of the conversation between Noel and me. It was generally due to two reasons - some of my friends seem to be very concerned about the fact that I might really about to dive into the delusional utopia of the memoryland. I am doing fine :). Secondly, certain sentences in the transcript seem to be opened to some pretty wild interpretations and out of my concern of how it might affect the people involved, its best to take down the whole entry.

I failed my first driving test.

While I was a student at Inti College, Malaysia, I was one of the student researchers for a joint research expedition organized by Inti Malaysia and University of Tanjungputra, Indonesia. The research was mainly about collecting statistical data on the ongoing transborneo economical activity around the border towns in the state of Sarawak, Malaysia and Kalimantan, Indonesia. That’s when I first saw with my very own eyes the living condition of the extreme poors.

It was disturbing to see children at the age of 6 to 10 working in the muddy field carrying sacks of grain and fruits that must have weighted at least twice their body weight each. I mean these kids were puny and yet they carried around those sacks and walked for like 3 miles without stopping. I am not even sure I can do that. It saddened me more to see teenagers holding ak-17 assault rifles guarding the village checkpoint across the border, asking for border protection money if you happen to not have a proper permit. The wooden houses in one of the border villages we visited were so horrible that I thought they would be better off living on the street. And then there were kids swarming our expedition vans whenever we pulled over for a stop. This is their life. I mean that’s basically it.

I could go on and write about what I saw but you pretty much get the idea. Certainly not trying to preach since Bono and Bill Gatsy already did that pretty well. I am sure some of you read about extreme poverty in newspapers or journals somewhere sometime ago. That’s the problem - we just read them.

You can feel sorry or sad after reading this entry, and stop to think for a while then move on to your next blog or www.yahoo.com and your life still goes on. Or you can just bleh this off and wish people should stop pretending like they really care about those kids in Uganda, hell your day is worse enough and no one even bothers to care. Or you can feel bad for like a bit since that tends to help you feel good about yourself for the rest of the day. Or you can buy 100 of these whitebands and help spread the effort.

I personally hate to guts people who talks like I did in the last paragraph - making other people feel bad just because they dont do something about something. Its not like if I buy freaking 1000 of the stupid whitebands and the world will turn into a better place. Its not like all my money will end up at the hands of the extremely poor kids somewhere in Somalia. Its not like it will matters at all. And most of all, I dont have to do anything if I dont want to and no one should try to make me feel bad about it.

But somehow, somehow….I just bought 50 of those stupid whitebands.

Now that you have reach the end of this entry and here’s the link to yahoo.com. What will you do?

The moon is blue tonight, and its light shines upon my feet. All the sudden I realize I have a set of twelve ten ridiculously sexy toes. Just take a look at these sexy little bad boys. Can you even believe how tight and fit they are? It almost turns me on.

I mean girls will literally kneel down and beg to lick em` and moan when these cute bastards dance around their body. I bet they can do 69 and 96 while still maintaining their speed and strength for a considerable amount of time with apparent ease. How I never discover this hidden sexiness of mine after all these years I will never know. This is just so blasting whooshing cha-chingly remarkable.

Can you even imagine how much money I can make with my newfound wonder-toes? Do you have any idea how famous I can be. Just imagine all the toes-enlargement and make-you-toes-as-hard-as-Alvin’s advertisement endorsements I am going to get. Move along Sharapova’s long legs or David Beckham’s right foot, makes some room for my bling bling toes!

Guess what? I could even have my own MTV show - Pimp my toes!

Warning: Excessive alcohol consumption might not only lead to reckless driving and unsafe sex. In certain extreme cases, developing excessive narcissicism towards ones own body parts can also be part of the side effects.

I was never a big chat or telephone person. I have this difficulty of maintaining constant human interaction over a communication medium for a long period of time. Not that I dislike it or anything, I just have this tendency to hang up the phone before the person on the other line finishes his/her bye bye. I also have a habit of going idle for a long period of time right in the middle of a chatting session. But it appears that things have begun to change.

Last month, I used up to 1200 minutes of my broadband phone. Today, I received this from my Windozz for the very first time ever since I msned like 6 years ago.

婷, 還好嗎?
不是告訴過你一卻都會沒事的嗎?

早點睡 ;-)